In my room, walking around trying to clear my head before I sleep, I feel clustered and I hate to sleep that way.
I’m still walking up and down the room…
My mother walks in holding up my phone,” Here, you left it in the living room” Me: “Thanks mum” gives her a peck on both cheeks “Goodnight”.
She turns and moves towards the door, then comes back as if forgetting something. “One more thing… no writing tonight, go to bed” she tells me.
“Okay ma, I don’t really plan to write anything, my thinking is fogged a bit” I say to her as she walks out to her room.
I sit on my bed and reach for my sketch pad, and I begin to draw. I start off with abstract things, I’m drawing unfamiliar images in a familiar manner then I turn over; at loss of what to draw next – then I decide to sketch fashion illustrations- a wedding dress for myself but then I stop even before I’m started. Marriage brings an uncomfortable feeling I’m not ready to explore, so I think again of what to draw while I’m lying on my stomach, swinging my legs in the air and dangling my huge drawing pencil.
Yes! I’m going to draw a pink dress for my neighbour’s little daughter…and I begin to sketch and sketch
I’m still sketching…
I’m done with the drawing but I need to paint it, so I search for my crayons in my stationery bag and pick out the pink crayon pencil. Perfect! And I begin to colour…
I’m putting final touches to the edges and then… it’s finished.
My mind is a little relaxed now but I still feel clustered. I have to think of what to do next.
I turn on my data, reply my pings, cruise through Twitter- nothing new, so I check my mails and drop my phone on my reading desk beside my bed.
Few seconds after, my phone jerks severally on the desk. And I reach for it…
206 messages from my department’s whatsapp group. Christ! Don’t these people ever sleep. I read the last five messages and quickly type “Y’all go to bed!!! ” with the tongue out smiley and switch off my data.
I’m at a loss of what to do next, so I’m just sitting in my bed with my socks covered legs crossed in Hindi style. Twisting my long braids and looking around.
I’m still up so I just pick up my phone and go straight to my favourite music playlists for nights like this.
Jhene Aiko’s Blue Dream is the first song that comes up, followed swiftly by ‘Wading’. I’m a hopeless fan of Jhene, her voice seems to soothe my aching soul, the same way Lara George’s ‘Keeper of my Dreams’ track does..
The light comes on, PHCN decided to do me a grand favour. The power of light is intoxicating and very tempting, so I creep out of my bed and sit at my desk. Suddenly feeling less clustered and relaxed. I promised my mother I wouldn’t write tonight, Oh well… what was I thinking?
I’m still contemplating on whether to disobey or not… but then the gods of writing would be mad at me. So I just shrug and surrender to the white immaculate angels beckoning on me to pick up my pen but I sincerely hope they’d be there in the morning when my mum scolds me.
Oh what to write now? I have a weakness for mild horror and mystic fantasy novels, so I proceed to write one.
I had stopped reading Silhouette, Mills and Bon and the rest of them, I read a locker full of them when I was younger but they were good too be true. To me, they created an insatiable yearning for love and left you dangling in the air like some animated puppet propelled by invisible strings.
And of course being vague just isn’t my thing.
I continue my writing and the sides of my eye stray unceremoniously to my unfinished book on the other end of the table. *Sigh* ‘Aren’t you such a diligent writer’ I say to my inner goddess sarcastically
‘Remind me to give a testimony in Church whenever I publish that book.’ Then I continue to write…
I’m beginning to ache and wonder what I’m still doing butt stuck in this chair and writing instead of sleeping my sweet self away.
I glance at the time and it reads 12:34AM. This is one unique and odd time of the day. Whenever I’m up late and I glance at the clock it always says this same time. I always wonder if there’s something I’m missing or is my mind playing dirty tricks on me? Well…whatever.
The wind is blowing gently and whispering softly in my ears. And Mother Sleep calls me sweetly to bed. And I rise and crawl in bed and pull up my blanket to my chest as I lie on my back.
Lying in bed, I look out the window into the sky in want of a scenery to distract me from my thoughts and cuddle me to sleep.
But I find a rather disturbing view, one that violently threatens to disrupt my peace of mind.
A distinct piece of literary and mental chaos
My mind is at it again, I don’t know where this road leads but we sure would enjoy the ride. ( Kindly Subscribe for next post).:) :*
Your humble sweetheart,